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Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Failure...101 in 1001.

Well, I have less than a month left...and there is no way I will come anywhere near completing my 101 in 1001. And I was kind of upset about this because I hate failure. I really and truly do. It makes my skin crawl when I can't complete something I know I should be able to. It makes me feel like if I failed at one thing, I will probably fail at everything...and we are just talking about a list of things that I thought I wanted to do, y'all can imagine what it feels like when I fail at something more important.
     My 101 in 1001 was created the summer before I started college. I was so ambitious, aren't we all? I thought I could conquer the world and it would be easy. It wasn't, it isn't and it never will be. The stuff I put on my list I now look back on and cringe. And part of me thinks I didn't put enough time into thinking them all through, something which I pride myself on now - always thinking things through. 
     But I did complete 49 things (thus far) my goal by March 22nd is to have 51 things done, I am going to watch my last classic film and I am going to take a photo with the Buddha in Fort Myers, which is how I always wanted to cap off the end of my list. And I will make another post about the positives of my 101 when March 22nd hits us. However, I just wanted to say that it is okay not to succeed at one of these lists. I feel like I put so much pressure on myself to get it done that I started to resent it, something that should have never happened. Good did come of it so stay tuned for the post on the 22nd about all of that but I want to make sure everyone knows that it's okay to fail. It makes us better and I have already started working on my next list. I am going to take some time and put a lot of thought into all 101 items. I want to make sure that I have the time and the head-space for each item so that I will not only complete it but love completing each item. I want to feel joy, not pressure, not the overwhelming feeling I usually get when I cross off an item and decide on my next one. 
     I hope this gives y'all some perspective on 101 lists and that yours are more successful then mine. Just know, don't put crazy things down unless you think you can handle them {I literally put down "Au Pair for a summer" who was I kidding?!}. You can do whatever you set your mind to, don't forget that but also don't get down if what you set your mind to doesn't work out. You'll be fine in the end-xoxo darling, Hayden. 

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